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(5) Why do I share dark journal entries?

The answer is pretty simple to me.  I watched the 20/20 special on PANDAS and Tim Sorel’s excellent documentary on PANDAS, “My Kid is Not Crazy.”  When I saw the children in acute stages of PANDAS  either screaming and yelling– or completely shut down, I recognized that behavior.  I know those moments, more deeply than I can find words to describe.  But I am committed to trying to put words to what it is like to have PANDAS.

One of the scenes that was particularly devastating to watch in the 20/20 special was the child who was face-planted on the floor, slowing scooting across the floor for hours at a time.  That child and children like him have no idea how to communicate what is going on inside of their brains.  While I cannot speak for that child in a literal sense, I want to try to speak for him (and others) in the broader sense.  I must advocate for myself and for others suffering with PANDAS.  I must advocate for the parents or caregivers of PANDAS patients.

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